One Day At A Time
4 years clean of alcohol, gambling and drugs.
It was a day like any other.
That? not to say we didn? recognize it, and celebrate with words of praise, love and appreciation. Oh and series one of Game of Thrones on DVD ; )
But while 4 years is a most WONDERFUL achievement, and an amazing milestone in my husband? incredible battle with his multiple addictions, it isn? a day that is too different from the one before it.
One Day At A Time
The journey of recovery from addiction is absolutely taken one day at a time.
Even 4 years in, I personally mark every single day drug, drink and gamble free, as a day for gratitude.
Gratitude that today, the demons of my husband? addiction remain banished from his life as it is today.
Gratitude that today, he is the amazing husband and father our family wished for.
Gratitude that today, we go to bed happy, prosperous, loved and safe because my husband chose to be free of his addictions for another day.
Every single day, it is a choice he makes.
He doesn? get to this years milestone and decide to be addiction free for another year.
He didn? reach 4 years and think ?hew, got through another year!?/p>
This milestone of a 4th year of recovery didn? creep up on us with hardly a thought about our journey in between.
Every day I see the choices my husband makes.
I see him choose not to drink despite the fact he runs events brimming with free alcohol.
I see him choose not to take his hard earned money and drop it into the machines in the many gambling venues dotted along his route home from work.
I see him choose to indulge in sports, books, his family, and his dogs for comfort, instead of turning back to the drugs that once kept him numb.
Every day I thank him for those decisions.
I am so grateful that he chooses the life he has now.
I admire him for his strength.
And somewhat selfishly, I breathe a sigh of relief that my life, our life, hasn? been tipped upside down again for another day.
Maybe after 4 years I should have more faith?
But I? not so blind to the power of addiction and I know the darkness that is ready to creep back around the corner if you so much as whisper to it.
The thing is, it? not about distrust.
It? not about a lack of belief.
It? not about expecting the worst.
It? about knowing recovery isn? healed.
It? about being honest, and aware.
Aware that the choice has to be made every day, to remain with ones back turned to addiction, to face the light with courage.
Addiction doesn? come into our lives gracefully, and leave without a fuss.
It storms in, makes it mark, leaves scars and when finally evicted, it promises to return.
Recovery isn? a destination.
It? a conscious, every day choice that has to be made.
I can? make that choice for my husband.
I can? know that he will make it every day because as close as we are, I can? read his mind.
And so, instead, I thank him and love him all the more with each and every day that he chooses recovery.
I go on, believing in him, trusting that he is strong enough to keep making that choice.
I go on, appreciating him every single time he does.
4 years is an INCREDIBLE achievement.
It is a heroic feat, considering the statistics.
It is celebrated and shouted from the rooftops for all to know.
Then the next day, we keep on taking this journey, one day at a time.